Mental Grit and 5 Ways to Deal With it

Many people, myself included, advocate that the best way to be productive is to prioritize your tasks and always complete the most important. This ensures that all of the important things you need to complete get completed.

It’s fantastic in principle.

In practice there are some issues.

When you go on a long hike you sometimes get a small stone or sand in your boot. If you decide that you are OK with a little discomfort then you may decide to do nothing with the grit in your sock. You tough it out and keep walking.

Just because you aren’t consciously thinking about the sand doesn’t mean it has disappeared. It is still there. It will rub against your skin causing blisters. Eventually the tiny piece of grit will become a big problem. A problem that was preventable but also seemed small enough to ignore. But now, halfway through a long hike, you are in great pain, in the middle of nowhere, and you have no choice but to hike a long way out. With a bleeding, painful foot.

Small unimportant tasks act in the same way as the grit. We choose not to consciously think about them but they still exist in our subconscious as uncompleted commitments. They still take up mental real estate.

At the end of the day they can cause a mental blister. You’re stuck in the mental equivalent of the middle of nowhere, at the end of your productive day, with a painful blister.

It’s all the worse because the next day we do the same thing again.

I think it’s obvious that the most important tasks still require the most attention. But the point I’d like to make, however, is that you still need to spend SOME of your attention on the unimportant, the trivial and those low priority items that you’ve mentally committed to but physically ignored. If you don’t they become gritty and distract you from the more important tasks and priorities in your life. If you want to produce the most significant impact you have no choice but to deal with the trivial tasks.

Here are 5 surprisingly easy ways to deal with this mental grit:

• Set a regular cleanup day. Whether it is once a week, month or even year set aside some time to clear up your low priority items. Even if it takes the entire day this will be time well spent. It will leave your brain free of commitments and able to focus on the important tasks instead.
• Record and review a list of all your to do items. Your brain needs a break from these open commitments. You’ll only get that break if you use a system your subconscious will trust. So capture every single task that you think of. Even the mundane and trivial. Most importantly review these captured thoughts on a regular and consistent basis. This will remove the stress of the tasks from your life and allow your brain to let go.
• Ask for help. If it is possible and polite to do so, ask someone to handle some of your low importance tasks. This is in essence why we pay to have our oil changed, our hair cut and other services. We don’t want to spend the time and effort doing those things ourselves. My wife and I constantly ask each other for help with chores when we’re busy. It’s a great way to get rid of several tasks that have been wearing you out mentally.
• Do small tasks right away. If something won’t take up much time then just do it and get it out of the way. Sure it may be low priority but if you do it its done. You’ll never need to think about it again. For example when a light bulb goes out in my kitchen I replace it. No questions, no planning, no delay. No wasted grit.
• Let go. If you don’t ever intend to do something then give yourself permission not to do it at all. Don’t waste mental energy holding on to lost causes.

The best way to be productive is to focus all your energy on the task at hand. This can only be accomplished when your mind is clear. It can’t be accomplished if your mind is dealing with the mental grit of small items that aren’t being completed.

Deal with this grit to be as productive as you can be.

A Good Compliment

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
Mark Twain

At my wedding my father decided that he would walk around telling people their best qualities without any prompt. He did this because he was moved by the power of that night’s celebration and he felt that too few people are ever complimented on their most powerful, obvious and authentic strengths.

It was important to some of the people who were on the receiving end.

I want to highlight the fact that we rarely hear compliments on our greatest strengths.

Do you even know what your best asset to your friends, family and coworkers is?

The people who matter the most deserve the best of us. They also deserve to know why they matter so greatly.

I am admittedly terrible at compliments but in the six months since my wedding (whoa time flies) I have been mindful of the power they have. The necessity they have. The rarity they have.

We are too concerned with criticism and negativity. So focussed on scarcity and the things we don’t have. So slow to be positive, slow to share positivity.

The greatest thing you will ever do for most people is share with them strength that they already possess. You don’t need to be a superhero. You don’t need to do amazing things.

You just need to share with them that which they already own.

Tools and Strategies

It is critical to know the difference between a tool and a strategy.

Today I was given free frozen yoghurt to promote a frozen yoghurt truck. Captain America was there. They asked people to tweet picture of him with some specific hash tag.

It’s all about trending on twitter.

That’s not really a strategy though. Twitter is a tool that can be used for marketing.

This is true in everything that we do. A hammer is not a strategy for home improvement. It’s a tool.

The way we choose to improve ourselves, what we choose to learn, life hacks etc are all tools. They can be great but don’t forget that you still need a strategy and a vision to improve yourself in a lasting way.

Everybody has a Plan

“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.”

Mike Tyson

Sometimes you get punched in the face. Not necessarily with a fist.

We can plan. We can visualise. But sometimes we are still punched in the face.

Today I played the semi finals at my squash club’s championship. It’s a doubles tournament, my friend and I were doing very well up to this point.

Then we got punched in the face.

We didn’t do anything right. We lost handedly.

As I’ve said before bad things happen, our response to those bad things is what is important. Our response to failure keeps us from becoming a failure.

Today I learned:

• No matter how well you think you play don’t ignore the basics. The basic sub skills in any scenario are what bring success. The difference between greatness and mediocrity is the ability to execute the basics effectively. I need to go back and focus on some of the most basic shots. Today, when we began to lose, I didn’t go back to basics and our score suffered as a result.
• Communication is everything. If you work in a team don’t assume your team mates know things that you don’t tell them. Even if it seems obvious from where you’re standing tell them. And listen. Listen for real. When your team mates offer advice it probably is more obvious to them, just like your advice is obvious to you. Respect your team enough to listen and talk.
• Shake it off. When something bad happens in one moment leave it in that moment. Today every point we lost seems to push us mentally down in the next point. This is not a good way to dig back. Instead pause for a brief moment, balance your thoughts and come back to the new moment.
• Follow the plan. When things fall apart ask yourself if you’ve abandoned the plan. Today we did not follow our own game plan. Use the plan to center your actions. Use it to make decisions easier.

There are many lessons in any failure.

Today I was punched in the face. But that’s OK. I have learned a lot as a result.

 

Getting There

For the past few days I’ve been implementing David Allen’s personal productivity system. David Allen wrote Getting Things Done which is a popular productivity book. I’m about halfway through and I really like it.

But.

But it’s difficult to overcome my own resistance to being productive. Getting there means committing to clean up my space and my mind. Some of this mess has been here for years.

I don’t even see it any more.

Today has been a blur of lists, action items, projects, file folders and post its. I’m tired, confused and easily distracted. I’m at the pain point. I’m at the pivotal moment that will decide the success of the whole effort.

At some point in every project we hit this resistance. The question is really how we continue.

If I allow distraction to take over I lose. I won’t reach my goals and this will become another half completed project.

If I lean in and embrace the effort needed I can win, I can make it to the other side. I can be more productive.

I’ve been here so many times before, mostly unconsciously. I’ve given in most of those times. It wasn’t always wrong to do so. But today feels important. Today is one that I need to do.

Time to buck up, follow through and improve myself.

 

Surround Yourself with Masterpieces

“You say I took the name in vain
I don’t even know the name
But if I did, well, really, what’s it to you?
There’s a blaze of light in every word
It doesn’t matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah“

Leonard Cohen in Hallelujah

Today I have been incredibly unproductive and uninspired. Lucky for me I took the time to think this through and I came to a realization. For the past week or so I’ve been watching a lot of the news.

The news typically shows, talks about and otherwise covers the worst scenarios that we see in the world. It is sensational and shallow. Worst of all it is intentionally depressing. It’s addictive.

Over time the news vortex sucks me in, I watch more and more. This fills my head with useless thoughts. My creativity is drained and my outlook bleak. I spin through the vortex head over heels coming out the other side wet and dizzy.

This problem has a solution. It’s simple. Surround yourself with masterpieces. Surround yourself with the most emotionally and intellectually evocative things you can find. And believe me you can find them.

Music, literature, art, a small insect, your dog’s face, your friends, your family, your spouse. Masterpieces surround us. They inspire us.

Today instead of seeking the most terrible and depressing stories I sought things that inspired me. And I was inspired as a result.

You can live your life in a world of guilt, shame and never-ending horror.

Or you can seek out the best that life has to offer and live in that reality instead.

 

My muse of the day was Alexandra Burke singing Hallelujah. This song and her voice get me every time.

The Power of the Big Ass Salad

Do you hate vegetables?

I did. I didn’t want to. I recognized the importance of eating these highly nutritious foods but I didn’t enjoy them.

At first I ate them in a utilitarian attempt to “eat better”. It was miserable. So I decided to like vegetables. Shortly after this decision I discovered the BIG ASS SALAD.

It’s easy. Take one BIG ASS bowl. Fill it with lettuce and other greens. Then throw as many veggies as possible into the mix. Go for serious colour.

I also frequently add small amounts of meat or lentils.

And Bam. BIG ASS SALAD.

Somehow calling it that has made me enjoy it.

The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by John Maxwell

I have known of John Maxwell for a few years now. He is a well loved leadership writer and I have read his blog from time to time. I didn’t just choose to read this book but had the opportunity to participate in a mastermind that read this book at the same time and discussed chapters in person once per week.

Overall I loved the book. I’m a self professed lover of self development and this book delivers. The format has the material broken down into 15 chapters corresponding with the 15 laws. It’s very actionable content and each chapter ends with suggestions for application of the law in your life. The action items helped guide my own planning and gave me a starting point for use of the laws in my daily life.

John Maxwell is a quote fiend. The guy must have a pretty insane filing cabinet considering that almost every page has at least one quote. He mentions at one point that he reads four books a month, it’s practically his full time job, and this breadth of research is definitely evident. Philosophers, musicians, politicians, religious figures, comedians all make appearances to lend wisdom and wit to the pages of the book.

Despite the somewhat heavy and highly intensive content I found it enjoyable to read. He shares a great number of stories and anecdotes from his life and others that illustrate his points while keeping the flow of the book moving. It’s useful but far from preachy. I also like that his information is very hierarchical. Some chapters are even divided into lists which help to visually separate ideas that make up the chapter. My thinking and self reflection were stimulated in a positive way without my brain turning to mush with information overload.

While I loved this book it does differ from some others in this genre in that it is largely the product of John Maxwell’s mind. While he quotes studies and stats from time to time this is not a book that dives deep into the science of an area of improvement like I have seen in some other self development books (like The Power of Habit for example). If you are looking for tonnes of research backing up a core concept this isn’t the book for you. If you’re ok with the wisdom of a great leadership writer and the many people he quotes then you’ll probably love this book as much as I did.

I wanted to cover a little bit of content but there’s simply too much to do it justice. I couldn’t even point to one overarching premise other than a focus on the importance of personal growth and the need to drive it by taking action in your life. Instead I’m just going to share a few lessons that I took away from this book and have already started using in my life:

• First off if you ever read it you will find I frequently borrow quotes when writing posts here. John Maxwell is a fantastic curator of ideas.
• Act right to feel right. If you rely too strongly on motivation or inspiration to fuel your actions then you will never make significant progress. Action taken before you feel 100% ready can drive you to feel motivated, inspired and achieve successful outcomes.
• Adversity is a fact of life. Bad experiences are a fact of life. The way we respond to these realities will drive our personal growth. On top of this mindset is a decision. If we decide to deal with adversity in a positive way than we will be successful in doing so and grow through these bad experiences.
• You won’t change your life until you change something you do daily.
• Growth is driven by the tension between where you are and where you want to be. Using this tension effectively can propel your growth forward and upward. Losing this tension leads to mediocre complacency.
• Integrity is critical to your growth and to leadership. What you do and think in private is true of you in public.

There are many more lessons I received but I am going to leave it with those few. I really enjoyed this book and I feel if I write all the wisdom I gleaned from it I would just be writing a second but worse book of my own.

If you read this book I highly suggest you apply the lessons to your life. While read casually it would likely be enjoyable I really don’t think that would be a good use of this material. I suggest this book to someone who is serious about their growth and is ready to put in some work.

Leaders Jog

When training a dog sometimes it pays to jog instead of walk. When you jog the dog must pay more attention to you. Your speed makes him eager to follow. He sees you immediately as a leader.

Do we as humans think the same way?

I am all for methodical and deliberate progress but at some point we all say “Enough is enough, let’s go already!”

To be a leader you must act like a leader.

Just like the dog, people will pay attention to your progress.

A leader who never acts is easily ignored. When we suffer from analysis paralysis our followers see us as uncertain, unclear. We want our leaders to be confident and deliberate.

The fear of action is very common. There is great uncertainty in taking the first step. It’s hard to say what the consequences will be. On the other hand the consequences of inaction are clear. You will no longer be the leader.

It’s Easy to do What I’ve Always Done

It is easy to do what I’ve always done, the habits are already there.

For years I was a science writer. My voice was passive.

Now I am a new kind of writer. My voice is changing. I want it to change. It is hard some days.

The difficulty lies in noticing inaction. It is so easy to do what I’ve always done that I hardly notice. I just do it.

This new voice is a challenge. But someday soon I’ll look back and laugh. I’ll realize that it’s so easy to do what I’ve always done that I can’t imagine having trouble with this voice.

I am a writer.